Love gone emo
by jessiebell13
Summary: kowalski is tired of being treated like he is. so he turns emo. but when skipper finds out will he be able to help him or find something more? kipper pairing. new chapter up: ch. 4: the truth and pain
1. breaking rules

J: Kowalski/skipper pairing. If you don't like it don't read.

Word count: 875

Chapter 1: emo Kowalski

Skipper's pov

I can't help, but feel like something is different with my team. I just don't know what. Private's still the cute little naive penguin he is. He still loves lunacorns. Rico still loves dynamite and explosions. He still can't talk. Kowalski still loves science, and won't quit talking about it. Is it possible there's something wrong with me? I look across the room to see rico brushing his doll's hair. Then I look to my left, and see private watching TV. Why is it so different that it bugs me?

I get up, and decide to see if Kowalski might know, or want to test it out. I open the lab door, and see Kowalski working with a green and pink tube. I wonder what he's doing now. "Kowalski didn't I make it clear no explosions till 600 hours" I asked while raising my eyebrow. He seems to jump at my voice. "Skipper I didn't expect you to be in here" Kowalski said hurriedly while hiding the chemicals behind his back.

Kowalski's pov [during same time]

I was working on my new idea. I was going to cure cancer diseases. They were going to call me a hero. I was going to have my name in lights, and maybe even my secret dream. Still I can't help but feel something's different. But that can't be, rico's still the same, private's still the same, and skipper he seems to be fine. Is it just me? Am I doing something wrong? I heard my door slightly open.

Then I heard Skipper say: "Kowalski didn't I make it clear no explosions till 600 hours". To which I replied: "Skipper I didn't expect you to be in here" while I hid my experiment behind my back. "Clearly you didn't" he said angrily.

Skipper's pov

I knew something was wrong. I came over to Kowalski, and gave him an angry stare, while showing him I was disappointed. I don't know why, but something told me I wasn't thinking right. Kowalski showed a very sad face. His beak came down in a clear frown, and his eyes were very soft. I took the chemicals from him, and patted his back. "I'll give them back at 600 hours" I said as I went out the door. Something in my gut said to turn back, but I didn't: I do not want to see his face.

Kowalski's pov

I was right. Something is very wrong with me. I haven't been following skipper's directions. Like last week.

"_Kowalski what have you done" skipper yelled angrily. "All I did was transfuse those wires" I yelled back as tears ran down my eyes. "I told you not to fix that toaster" skipper yelled showing clear anger. "But-but" I said as sadness overtook my voice. "No but's, I told you a direct order, and you disobeyed" skipper said while staring into my eyes. "You aren't good for following rules are you" he asked…_

I don't clearly remember what happened after that since it was a blur from my sadness. I tried to fix that toaster, but I made it worse with everyone. Skipper's right I'm not good for rules. So I guess I'm just going to have to break them.

I get out the fish door entrance, and head toward town. I pick up a new outfit, and head to the dressing room. I put on my white tank top, and black leather jacket. I put on black sunglasses, and buy a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I exit the store, and pull out a cigar and the lighter. I stick the cigar in my beak, and lit it. "So long world a new Kowalski's in town" Kowalski said.

Skipper's pov

I still feel like I should have said something to Kowalski. It feels like he might do something wrong. Then I hear the door open. It was night so rico and private were asleep. Why hasn't Kowalski came out yet? I look to the open door expecting Marlene or even Julian, but instead was Kowalski wearing a black jacket, and black sunglasses.

"Kowalski what the hell happened" I yelled upon seeing him. He put his flipper to my face, and said: "take to the flipper Skippy". "What did you call me" I asked. "Skippy flat-head, I decided I can't follow rules I'll just break them" he said while taking off his sunglasses. "But you can't not follow rules" I said disregarding his theory. "Sure I can, nothing says I can't" Kowalski said back. "The rules do" I replied. "Well that's probably why then" he said while a smirk rose on his beak.

Kowalski's pov

Skipper can't tell me what to do anymore. I go by my own rules now. I went back towards the entrance. "Where are you going" Skipper asked from behind me. "To live my life on the line, later chump" I said as I climbed the ladder to sweet freedom. Goodbye old life, hello city lights.

J: well I decided to make this more than a one-shot so please enjoy. If you don't like it doesn't bother me. Review if you do like it.


	2. more emo stuff

J: well I'm happy for the reviews! Thank you fellow liker's of the kipper pairing.

Rating has changed its reasons: blood, and suicidal thoughts

Word count: 573

Chapter 2: more emo stuff

**Kowalski's pov**

I sat at my new dark brown desk. Curse this apartment! Curse this life! I slowly opened my pocket knife. I let a few tears fall at the thought I'll never belong anywhere. No one wants someone who can't follow rules. I slowly dragged the knife across my flipper. The pain does not hurt as much as I thought. But perhaps it's because this is the only way out. Maybe everything will be better this way.

**Skipper's pov**

I knew I should have said something to him in the lab. Why was I so stupid? I could have stopped this from happening. I could still have my Kowalski…. I paused at that thought. _My _Kowalski. This pondered my mind. Why did I think Kowalski was mine? I'm not sure, but I need to get Kowalski back. Not just for my sake, but for private and rico too. God I hope he doesn't do anything stupid or he can't turn back from. I hastily got out of my chair, and went up the ladder. Before I went I looked to private and rico.

Both sound asleep without a care in the world. My only concern is getting _my _options man back.

**Kowalski's pov**

I felt the knife dig deeper in my flipper. Just a little longer Kowalski. Everything thing will be okay in the end. Tears raced down my face, as I frowned. Why does it take so long? Why can't it be over, and done with? I have still a lot to do. I put the knife down as I went to sit on my couch. My flippers bleeding extremely bad. So this is what pain feels like. I lift my flippers to my face. The blood mirrored my face in it. Then I heard strange voices in my head.

"Weakling" one said. I felt my eyes about to burst into a million tears. "You think one cut will do" another voice said. "You're no good" yet another said. "Stop it!" I yelled loudly as I huddled into a ball. "What would skipper say" a girl voice said in my head. It sounded like Marlene. "Marlene" I said looking around. "No I am just you're imagination Kowalski" the voice said again.

"You feel guilty for what you have done to the team" she said. I felt guilt hit my heart. "But Kowalski what would skipper say if he saw you like this" the voice asked. "I don't know…." I said not honestly believing her. "You think he cares more about rules Kowalski? Well those rules were just to protect you" the voice said. Then another otter vision came up. "What are you talking about Casey? He's just an average penguin brat who finds the easier way out" the other otter said.

My heart felt even more guilt. "Don't talk about him that way jerry! Everyone deserves to live!" Casey shouted at the other otter. "Yeah and they also determine how they die" jerry shout back. I looked to the left and right trying to decide whose advice to go with….

Should I live in pain? Or should I die in guilt?

J: sorry if this depresses someone, but it's kind of like a love hurts relationships story… so yeah.


	3. skipper to the rescue

J: well sorry for the wait. Anyway I have an important message at the end of this fic page.

Word count: 434

Chapter 3: skipper to the rescue

**Skipper's pov**

I raced down every street I could. I need to find him. I saw a dog who was wearing a top hat come down the street. I stopped him hastily. He looked at me like I was insane, but then his eyes got my terrified expression. "Can I help you sir?" the dog asked. "I'm looking for a tall penguin who goes by the name of Kowalski" I said slowly trying to regain my breath. "Ah yes the young lad who lives in apartment 2B" he said smiling. "You know him?" I asked. "Why yes everyone in this street does. Quite a nice man if you ask me" he said (doesn't he sound like an English man?)

"Can you take me to him" I asked quite excited to see _my _(hey look there it is again : P) Kowalski again. The dog takes my flipper, and leads me toward a huge apartment building. He takes me inside, and we ascend the many stairs. "This here be the apartment he be living in sonny" the dog told me as he started to leave. I turned my attention to the door. 'Here goes nothing' I thought to myself.

I knocked on the door ready to see the face of _my _(oh there it is again!) Kowalski.

**Kowalski's pov**

I heard a knock at my door. No, no one can see me like this. I look down to my flippers that are still heavily bleeding. I feel some wet tears line my face. Why am I still crying? I went to the door, and opened it. I gasped as I saw it was skipper. "s-skipper" I said nervously. He is the last one I wanted to see me like this. Skipper's gaze tears away from my face, and went toward my flippers.

I didn't have time to wrap them so their kind of just leaking crimson red fluid. His mouth fell open. "What happened Kowalski?" he asked frightened. I just led him inside, and he sat down on the couch. Time to explain the truth…

J: I know it's like a cliffhanger, but hey can't go any farther without spoiling surprises. Thank for reading, and please review ;) anyway for the announcement. Please tell me if you would like to see the other zoo animals Pov's on this predicament. The dog is also going to be in other parts of this story so watch out for him.


	4. the truth and pain

J: haven't done this in a while. Anyway thank you for tuning in!

Word count: 530

Chapter 4: the truth and pain

**Kowalski's pov**

Skipper stared at me as I sat down in front of him. "So what happened?" skipper asked me. "Well…" I started, but he interrupted me. "Did blowhole do this… boy I'll get him back don't you…" he said, but I stopped him by yelling "I did this to myself!". Skipper stared at me wide eyed, and his mouth dropped open. I slumped against the chair with my flippers bleeding more. Skipper finally got out of his trance. "b-but why?" he asked nervously. "I'm tired of being treated like a girl or some power monkey thing" I said as I stood up. I went over to my desk, and picked up the razor I used against myself.

I heard skipper move behind me. "Life would be so much easier if I could just end it…" I hadn't realized I said that out loud till skipper slapped me. "Kowalski what is wrong with you!" he shouted in my face. I got angry myself, and shouted back at him. "Why do you even care!". Skipper's face turned to a frown of realization.

**Skipper's pov (during same time as top entry)**

I stared at Kowalski as he sat down in front of me. I asked him who did that mess to him. Though I cut him off by saying a bunch of nonsense, but then he shouted "I did this to myself!". I couldn't believe he did that as my eyes went wide, and my beak dropped open. It took me a while, but I finally shook off the trance. "b-but why?" I asked him nervously. Then he said- "I'm tired of being treated like a girl or a power monkey thing" as he stood up, and went over to his desk.

I never knew we treated him like a power monkey or a girl. I stood up, and went behind him. "Life would be so much easier if I could just end it…" he said. I couldn't help, but feel super angry when he said that. I slapped him hard, and said- "Kowalski what is wrong with you!". I saw him get angry from his face expression, and he yelled- "why do you even care!". My face turned to a frown of realization.

It was me he thought treated him like a girl or monkey. I caused him pain. It's all my fault I'm losing the one person I care about. Everything is my fault….

J: do you guys think Skipper will get depressed? Will Kowalski ever stop cutting himself? Why am I asking you guys this?

Note: I made this story for my cousin . She use to be a cutter, until her boyfriend stopped her. This is in thanks for all those who help as many suicidal people as they can. Also to those who find it hard on finding the one thing this world needs the most: Love. Also to those who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual as well. There is no reason that they should keep them from who they love. Thank you all for reading. R&R


	5. Love is blind

J: I am truly sorry people for not coming on to much… life's very hectic on my part, and well you know how that works…

Chapter 5: Love is blind…

**Skipper's pov**

I stared at Kowalski as I tried to form an answer. Why do I care? What do I really feel inside? Well Kowalski's always been there through everything I've been through. When I lost manfedi and Johnson… when I lost my parents (just assuming here). Everything that ever happened to me really. I can't understand these feelings I get when I see him every day in the morning. It's so complicated, but yet it's so easy to understand. Yes I get what I have been feeling all along. This feeling is too big to hide anymore. So I took a deep breath, and said- "because I love you…"

**Kowalski's pov**

Skipper is really getting on my nerves with all this waiting. Why is it so hard to answer a simple question? Then I see him finally look at me, and he takes a deep breath, and says "because I love you…". I was now staring in amazement. Someone; no not just anyone, the only friend I ever had was actually in love with me. But I'm not any good; he'd find someone better once I'm gone…

"You don't mean that…" I said as I turned away from him. He's playing tricks with my mind, and I won't stand for it. I could feel tears slipping down my cheeks. I felt skipper put his flipper on to me, and speak lowly- "how do you know I don't?". Well I guess he is right. He's the only one who ever treated me with respect… well besides private, but he does that to everyone.

"No one can ever love someone like me…" I said while looking down. He turned me around, and looked me in the eyes. "Why not?" skipper asked. I could feel my pulse racing as I stared at him. "Because I am not anything worth the time…" I said while more tears came down. He pulled me closer, and I could feel his breath on me. "You're worth my time…" he spoke lightly, and then he pressed his beak to mine. I could feel the fireworks burst behind me as skipper kissed me.

I have never felt happier in my life. To feel something so beautiful and it actually belongs to me. I know now that I was wrong. Life isn't as bad as everyone thinks. Just as long as you spend it with the person you love…

(We turn to a bedroom where Kowalski is sitting in a chair next to a little girl's bed)

"Daddy is that story true? Were you really going to kill yourself?" the little girl asked. "Yes Darien. It is true, but it was just a phase…" Kowalski said. "So other daddy really rescued you?" Darien asked. "Yes and one day you'll find your true love…" Kowalski said as he got up, and left the room.

Darien looked out the window to see a penguin boy dressed in black, wave to her. She smiled, and said- "I already have…"

J: well yes this is how it all ended. I plan though to tell you people more about Darien and the mysterious black penguin in a squeal. Anyone interested in learning about Skipper and Kowalski's daughter, and the love of her life? Oh well bye now!


End file.
